everyday is a winding road...

2012-02-14T02:58:00.001-05:00

Happy Anniversary

Patty & Jeff

Watching...and...Waiting

2012-02-09T04:47:00.001-05:00

....Can't Trust that Day.

2012-02-07T12:08:00.001-05:00

The Mama's and the Papa's got it wrong.

Forget about Mondays....

It's Tuesdays, you can't trust.

If I had only known.....

2012-02-04T23:26:00.005-05:00

It was a Saturday nite.
She said she felt better.
"Pretty good."
"I'm alright."
"Don't worry about me."
Edith had been to visit and brought her a rose.
"So, see I have flowers."
I think there was some talk about missing the Super Bowl party.
There was talk of me feeling better 'cause work was getting better.
She was glad, cause she "knew you haven't been happy there for a long time."
She was glad I called, but was going to go because her arm was still swollen and it was hard to hold the phone up to her ear, she didn't want to bother the nurse or ask for help.
Okay.
We said our "Love yous" and goodbyes.

If I would have known it would be the last time I heard her voice,
I would have never hung up that phone.

If I had only Known

If I had only known
It was the last walk in the rain
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm
I would hold your hand
Like a life line to my heart
Underneath the thunder we'd be warm
If I had only known
It was our last walk in the rain

If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again
I'd memorize each thing you ever said
And on those lonely nights
I could think of them once more
Keep your words alive inside my head
If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again

You were the treasure in my hand
You were the one who always stood beside me
So unaware I foolishly believed
That you would always be there
But then there came a day
And I turned my head and you slipped away

If I had only known
It was my last night by your side
I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn
And when you'd smile at me
I would look into your eyes
And make sure you know my love
For you goes on and on
If I had only known
If I had only known
The love I would've shown
If I had only known

by Jana Stanfield and Craig Morris

2012-02-03T23:31:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Cori!

Flashback Friday...The African American Experience

2012-02-03T04:51:00.002-05:00

Fifteen years ago....

I went to O'hare to pick up a South African, named Heidi.

She spent seven months on Main Street before I had to take her back to that plane.

My life has never been the same.

I am lucky to know such an amazing person exists.

Flashback Friday...

2012-01-27T23:56:00.000-05:00

I miss my parents.

That is all.

Flashback Friday...101 W. 181st

2012-01-20T23:04:00.005-05:00

January 25 marks 27 years since Grandma Fern passed away.

She was the only Grandparent I ever knew as Mom's side had passed away before I was born and I was just two years old when Grandpa Vandercar died.

I was a lucky kid, 'cause her house was a stone's throw from my front door.

101 W. 181st Street.

She was my constant companion while growing up.
If she ever tired of me running thru that white door, she never let it show.
She never refused my requests for snacks or sleepovers or marathon games of double solitaire or chinese checkers.
I can close my eyes and still see every nook and cranny of the little red house...from the mission style rocker to the chalk ware Chinese people on the tall dresser, to the pictures on the wall.

She was there.
Constant.
Every single day of my life.

But little kids grow up.
I can remember, in my teenage years, getting off the bus and walking by her door and thinking, I should stop in more.

I can only imagine how hard it was for her to see that little kid grow up and seem to need her less and less.

I wish I could go back to the 14 year old me and tell me how good this advice was.
I wish I could go back and sit and listen to EVERY WORD she said.
I wish I knew the questions I have now and I wish I would have asked them.
The questions about The Kenney Store, Grandpa Tilton's finger, Orchard Grove School, houses they lived in, recipes she knew by heart, Indians in the woods, Uncle Ralph's house, the house before Uncle Ralph's house, Christmas day weddings, gypsies at the door, heart stopping telegrams and on and on and on.
I wish I could ask her the questions I have about people by the name of Stella Wallace, Jeremiah, Aunt Tin, Tossie, Flossie, Persis, Hattie, Effie, Fay, Albert,...the endless list of people, places and things that only she would remember.
She would know all the answers.
All of them.

But alas the Poet/songwriter is right:
"But there never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them."
Jim Croce

And 14 year olds don't ask, cause they don't know the right questions and they don't know then what they are gonna know later.
And answers fly away.

But there is one thing that has remained true.
Whether a child, teenager or adult....

I love my Grandma Fern.

I miss you too, Grandma.

Directions to here:
whether you are
4, 14, 24, 44, 64 or 94....share your questions, stories, memories and answers!

2012-01-18T23:36:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Adrienne!

Flashback Friday...Photo Booth

2012-01-13T03:14:00.002-05:00

Is there anything more beautiful and sentimental than a simple Photo Booth strip of pictures?

Love. Love. Love.

These pictures

Photo Booth Fun......with Dance with Nance

2012-01-12T02:15:00.006-05:00

dance with nance and Jerm

dance with nance and Jamie-roo

dance with nance and J-to the Cinda

dance with nance, the Big Boy and Blondies

dance with nance incognito

Photo Booth Fun......With Friends

2012-01-11T02:49:00.001-05:00

The Kinder Gang

"Arndt they cute?"

South side - represent!

Eye on You!

Cinda Sandwich

Jackie and the crew

More Haydens...and family...

noise makers

The Mrs. Haydens

Shirley and the Working Man

Lon & Lori

Bob photo bombs the Childress Family

Photo Booth Fun......With the Family

2012-01-10T04:18:00.000-05:00

Jamie rockin' the Y2K hat

Cinda rockin' the mic

The Emperor and Princess

Mr. Wynstar, Himself

a man of many hats

Another Mr. & Mrs. Vandercar

Can you tell we're related?

"Drewbie! look at me."

"Erin! Look at me!"

waaaaaahhh!

"waaaaaahh........er!!"

Aunt Sandy and Zacher-doodle.

Rockin' the boots!

Ready for the next Bears game!

Cousins

We Three

Joe/Bob and Nina

Cinda ridin' the "Portable Photo Booth"

Photo booth Fun......with the Haydens

2012-01-09T01:48:00.001-05:00

So...
the first camera memory card we used...malfunctioned : (
....so the Guest of Honor and hostess, Thompson family and the church ladies and their "props" are now a part of the witness protection program.

But here's a few of the hosts of the party!

Photo Booth Fun with the

Haydens

Red Solo Cup...

2012-01-08T03:07:00.003-05:00

Yes, Steph!

DJ dance with nance
spinning

Red Solo Cup!

Requested by Lori!

I had a feelin'...

2012-01-07T03:13:00.005-05:00

....That the night would be a good, good night!

One thing is for sure....The Haydens know all the ingredients needed for a good party.

There was lot'sa Food

There were "beverages."

There were props.

There was music.

There was dancing.

hokey pokey style

ballroom blitz style

dirty dancing style

(drew on the shop floor break dancin' in the dirt)

There was a photobooth

There was a birthday video

(From Susie to Jerry)

There were kids

There was family.

There were friends.

There was Scotch!

"was"

as in past tense

There were surprises!

Jerry rockin' the scooter at the stroke of midnight and 70!

(thanks Jackie for the pic)

Thanks to the Hayden family

for another great New Year's Eve!

Happy New Year!

Directions to here:

Come back for more Photobooth shots!

Flashback Friday...Old New Years

2012-01-06T03:27:00.001-05:00

I've been ringing in the New Year

and helping this guy celebrate his

New Year's Day Birthday
for many years!

1970's

New Year's Eve

1982

New Year's Eve

Partying like it's 1999

New Year's Eve

2005

New Year's Eve

2006

New Year's Day

2007

New Year's Eve

2008

New Year's Day

2009

New Year's Eve

2009

New Year's Day

2010

New Year's Eve

2010

(don't worry, it's sparkling cider)

and the latest grand entrance!

Jerry rockin' the Scooter

2011....12 a.m...2012

Happy 70th Birthday, Jerry!

And Happy New Year!

Directions to here:

Tune in later for more New Year's Eve pics!

2012-01-01T00:00:00.021-05:00

HUNDRED

THOUSAND

HUNDRED

Minutes

Directions to here:

enjoy them.

Flashback Friday...Folk Art

2011-11-18T23:30:00.001-05:00

On the second day of our Sister Weekend...we spent some time "searching thru thrift store jungles."

While certain sisters were busy checking out a booth and bookshelves full of cookbooks...

I turned around and found this one of a kind piece of Folk Art.

Yes, that is a fly on the head of the...whatever that is a head of...

and before you judge...take look at the price tag.

That piece of folk art reminded me of our own Vandercar Folk art...

and specifically, this piece.

I always thought it funny and sad that the hoofs of these deer were further humiliated into holding up the guns that shot them.

I never knew our house to be without this piece of "art."

Yet, I never heard or thought to ask about where it came from and or who made it.

In my scanning of the family photos, I've come to see that it must have meant something and or been well loved, because before it came to live in mom and dad's bedroom, it held a prominant place in the household(s).

In 2003

Mom and Dad's room

In the 60's

In the Dining Room

and 1950's

Is this in the little red house (which then became Grandma Ferns)?

And what in the world is hanging next to the door?

Yet another deer hoof?

Keychain? Or should I say Keyhoof?

What?

As for the current location of this Folk Art, I believe it is in Bobby's basement??

So, there you have it...
my challenge to you next generation of hunters...
get out there and get your Game and dream up and design YOUR very OWN piece of Folk Art!
And you married deer hunters, good luck with getting your wife to let you hang it in the dining room!

Directions to here:

I also just noticed there is the lamp that I've been keeping track of on the 365 scan posts!

Also feedback on the location of the black and white photo and what YOU think the deer hoof was for!
Go!

flashback Friday...With Love and Honor

2011-11-11T00:17:00.001-05:00

So glad we got to do this....

Before we had to do this....

2011-11-10T05:02:00.002-05:00

All Because two people fell in love....

getting our kicks on 66....

2011-10-25T23:45:00.000-04:00

Oh the places you'll go and the things you'll see!

Steph survived her first day on 66!

Elephants and spaceships and Muffler Men, Oh My!

We are tucked in at the Wagon Wheel motel.

More pics to come!

Entourage

2011-10-24T03:45:00.000-04:00

Originally the Oklahoma trip was going to be a "sister road-trip."

But, due to me not getting the best week off and a little event called the "Turkey Supper," sister road-trip...got pushed back to "sister weekend."

After Sister Susie told me she could not go, here's the back and forth of the conversation:

I said...maybe I'll ask the sister-in-laws.

Pause. (I can tell that she's contemplating if I really think Sandy would go on a road trip with me)

"No, not Sandy," I say..."Steph and Verna".

"Steph is not your sister-in-law."

"What? Oh, well, you know what I mean."

"I don't want them to go."

"Why?"

"If I can't go, I don't want anybody to go."

Well, alrighty then.

Turned out that Verna had doctor's appointments that she couldn't get out of...so my most favorite "non-sister-in-law," Steph took up the challenge of going on a Road Trip...with this meandering wanderer.

Steph is one brave non-Sister-in-law!

Monday morning....only 1/2 hour behind schedule!

Oh how I've missed you!

2011-10-23T00:40:00.000-04:00

Heritage Vacations

2011-10-22T05:18:00.000-04:00

"Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on." Baz Luhrmann.

A year or two ago...I made a decision to be intentional about looking up and spending time with our extended family on my Bucket List.

Too often I found myself at funerals wishing that I had taken the TIME to call, visit, get to know and listen to the person that had passed away.

Being the baby of the family means I came along too late to know a lot of those who had already left us...and with each year it seems our link to the past gets thinner and thinner.

It made and still does make me go a little crazy to know that when that person is gone...all those stories just fly away with them. ugh. I cannot even think about it...without getting agitated.

So...I have tried to plan, use and spend some of my vacation time making connections with our extended family.
I am calling them my Heritage Vacations.

So far I've made new connections with both His Side (Vandercar/Tiltons) and Her side (Turners/Bryants). I've met and got to know Ruby and Garland (His Side) and Turner/Spindler cousins (Her Side) and also spent time with family that I already know, but don't often see enough.

I just wish that there was more time OFF to go, go, go....talk, talk, talk, listen, listen, listen...write, write, write...scan, scan, scan...share stories, stories, stories.

I still need to tell you about my Turner Trip...and post some pictures from Ruby Palooza.

But next up, is a Heritage Trip and a visit to Tulsa with Aunt Mary!!

Flashback Friday...Flashback Road Trips

2011-10-21T05:42:00.001-04:00

Cobbs to Vandercars

Vandercars to Cobbs.

Getting ready for an old fashioned road trip to go see the Cobbs!

Directions to here:

Powerwagon!
and I might have the matching Indiana Beach Sweatshirt that I now know probably belonged to Patty.

Mystery Tree

2011-10-20T23:57:00.000-04:00

I am scanning pictures AND negatives everyday.
Working thru pictures and some negatives that are not mine, not moms....

I have a roll that I don't know who the negs belong to, but are probably either Dave's or Patty's.

Whose Christmas tree is this???

I remember the Foxfire books, but can't remember who had them!

Flashback Friday...29 ago.

2011-10-14T03:32:00.002-04:00

Happy 30th Birthday week to Adam!

Flashback Friday.....I miss this face!

2011-10-07T15:37:00.003-04:00

Happy Birthday Mom!

The words "miss you" are way to small to describe the emotions I carry around when I think of you everyday.

Great happiness and joy that I had a wonderful person like you for my Mom...

and sadness that our time on earth together was way too short.

I love and miss you.

Directions to here:
This picture was taken in D.C. at Steve's wedding. My mom was trying to make one moody and surly camera obsessed teenager get over her surliness. Making faces usually worked : )

I miss this place.

2011-09-27T03:44:00.000-04:00

Flashback Friday.......Same time last year.

2011-09-16T14:39:00.001-04:00

Last year at this time....I was at this great place:

With these great people:

How I wish we were all there together again, same time this year.

I will be with the Turner/Spindler cousins again tonight....

not at the carefree oceanside....

but to gather at a family dinner to remember and honor David.

Pawley's Island will never be the same.

Directions to here:

As I post these pictures, I realize I never finished my series of posts about my Turner Cousin trip. Formalintroductions of the Carolina cousins will follow. I've got LOTS of posts and things to catch up on. Just need to stay home to catch up.

What I meant to say....

2011-09-01T23:57:00.001-04:00

Two weeks ago, I had the chance and privilege to say a few words at Delia's Funeral.

Even as I type that, it just makes no sense.

Funerals are at the end of a life.

A life is a long time.

You go to honor and remember the life you have lived with that person.

I was not done with Delia.

None of us were.

I wanted more with her.

We all did.

So therein, lies the impossibility of it all.

I knew in my head what I wanted to say.

But after hearing the crack in my brother's voice and seeing the tears in my sister-in-law's eyes and looking over to see our little Shel-belle and James sitting there with the weight of the world on their shoulders, I could not get remember half of what I had wanted to say.

But, having gone back to my notes and composed my thoughts...here is what I meant to say....

Delia Jean

I have the privilege of telling you a little about the lady that shared a middle name with Delia Jean.

Helen Jean was my mom.

She was Shel's Grandma. She was Delia Jean's Great Grandma.

A couple years after our mom, Helen Jean passed away, we started having Sunday dinners.

When she was alive we would talk to her and she would keep us updated on each other.

After she was gone, we a realized that if we were going to stay close, it was up to us.

This is when we started having Sunday Dinners.

I cannot tell you the amount of times that I have been at one of our dinners and thought: "mom would have loved this."

She would love to see us together.

She would have loved to see our family grow and to see all of these new great grand kids.

Go back to last spring, when we all learned the word "anencephaly" and heard the unthinkable,

that James and Shel were going to have to endure the hardest thing in their lives and be what seemed like a million miles from home.

I imagined them having to go thru all they have gone thru this week...alone with no family there in Korea.

Then it dawned on me...that if they must go thru it alone, that at least at Delia's home going...Grandma Helen Jean would be the first in the family to meet Delia Jean!

Although the news was still heartbreaking, I had some peace knowing that Delia would go from this world holding the hand of her family to the next, holding the hand of her family.

Now,

I know I'm in a church and I am supposed to believe there is nothing better than being with Jesus.

But, honestly?

The thought Delia Jean being held by Grandma Helen Jean, almost brought me more comfort than knowing that she would be with Jesus.

This may be a shock, but I don't think God is surprised.

Because God uses parents as Image Bearers.

Moms and Dads bear God's image to us.

He uses our parents to show us how much he loves us.

He used Helen Jean in our lives to show us what He is like.

This is one reason Shel and James chose Jean as Delia's middle name.

Helen Jean bore the image of God to us...thru her love, strength and faith...

and because of this we were able to imagine a Greater Love and a Greater Strength and to HAVE faith in a Great God.

And I see Helen Jean's legacy continuing.

If you want to see the love of God,

look at these two parents:

Parents who love so much, they chose to go thru so much pain and face the inevitable, in order to give Delia Jean the best life possible.

When I told people the news that James and Shel found out back in May....almost everyone of them assumed that they would not go thru with the pregnancy.

I said no, they want this child to have a chance and as much love as possible, no matter how long her life.

They were willing to sacrifice and embrace a world of pain and hurt in order to give a little girl and faith a fighting chance.

Shel and James are a mother and father who are mirroring the Image of God to a child they knew would never be able to return even one hug.

But as we've seen in the rainbows and shooting stars, she seems to be responding and returning her love in heavenly artwork.

The morning after Delia came and left us, I laid down to sleep for a few hours before going to work.

The alarm went off and the first thing I heard was the line:

"Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance..."

James and Shel, thank you for giving.

Thank you for giving faith a fighting chance

Thank you for giving Delia a fighting chance.

Thank you for bearing God's image to your children and in so doing showing them and us what God is like.

Delia spent all of her life embraced by love.

She spent most of her life nestled in her mother's womb.

She spent ALL of her time on outside the womb cradled in the arms of a family that loved her and couldn't wait to hold her.

And she flew from this world safely into the arms of Jesus and to the arms of those who have gone before and wait for us.

She did not spend one moment untouched.

And that is a wonderful way to spend a life time.

Extra, Extra...Read all about it!!

2011-07-11T12:58:00.000-04:00

Happy Anniversary!

Flashback Friday...Fourth of July Moon Dance

2011-07-01T00:59:00.008-04:00

July 4, 2009

A very memorable Fourth of July

and definitely the most memorable first dance!

Enjoy!

Directions to here:

watch Jerry at :27....this is where he thought the electrical box blew. sorry, Jerry, I should have warned you!

Flashback Friday...Six degrees to Dinwiddie

2011-06-24T23:04:00.005-04:00

I've been to Arizona twice to visit Ruby (Dinwiddie) Lawson.

And most of you got to meet her during her visit to, um...Dinwiddie...

(Ruby at Sunday dinner)

but I have yet to officially explain why you should know her or care about her.

Have you heard of the game "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon?"
It was devised, when Kevin Bacon said he had worked with everyone in Hollywood or someone who's worked with them. Meaning, if you name an actor, you can probably get back to Kevin Bacon within six steps.

Well, it works with our ancestors and relatives too.
Especially on the Vandercar/Tilton side.
I've been meaning to chart this out, but didn't want to see Dave's eyes roll back in his head.
And honestly, with this one, even my eyes get a little crossed (reading about cousins) and trying to figure out just how many ways Ruby is related to us.

Simply put:

Ruby is our cousin.

or a little more detail:

Ruby is our first cousin, once removed:

Bob (our Dad), Gladys and Ruby are/were first cousins because....

Bob's mom, Fern Tilton (our Grandma) and Ruby's mom, Phebe Tilton (our Great Aunt) were sisters.

If you remember Aunt Phebe:

this might explain why Ruby looked familiar to you!

But that's not the end of the game.

There are a few more interesting degrees to add.

Those sisters? Fern and Phebe?

Fern married George Vandercar (our Grandpa)...and had Bob.

Phebe married Keith Dinwiddie (our Great Uncle)...and had Ruby.

What I did not know, is........and stick with me here, Dave...

Keith Dinwiddie's mother's name was Alice Shurte.

Alice

George Vandercar's mother's name was Hattie Shurte (our Great Grandma).

Hattie

Alice and Hattie were sisters.

(look for #13 and #14)

Alice married a Dinwiddie...and had Keith.

Hattie married a Vandercar and had George.

This made Keith and George first cousins.

So, not only is Ruby related to us on the Tilton side because of Fern and her sister Phebe,
but also on the Vandercar side, because of Great Grandma Hattie and her sister Alice.

On a side note:
Grandpa George had a sister named Lulu.
(she opens up a whole other, double related, mind bending scenario...which I will save for another Friday).

I mention Aunt Lulu to explain to you yet another reason why Ruby may have looked familiar to you.

Because Ruby looks a lot like Aunt Lulu...

...who looked a lot like Great Grandma Hattie.

I have no idea what that makes Ruby to us on the Vandercar side.
I'll have to call in the professionals on that one.

So there is your Six degrees to Dinwiddie answer in case anyone asks.
You're Welcome.

Can someone go wake up Dave and tell him I'm done talking about this now?

Directions to here:

This isn't even taking into consideration that Grandpa and Grandma lived in Dinwiddie (at the farm where the truck stop is now) and that many of you still live close by there. Just another degree to add to the game!

Flashback Friday...Our Dad...the long and short version.

2011-06-17T23:08:00.003-04:00

When I think of my dad as "Dad" and not the "Grandpa" stage of his life, I have two versions in my memory...and they revolve around the length of his shirt sleeves.

I think I was probably 12 or 13 before I ever saw him wear short sleeves in public. And it wasn't until the late 70's that I ever saw him go anywhere without a cap on his head.

When I was little, He was always dressed for work: either at the Station or Farming.

This picture shows this perfectly.

The Farmer in the Mobil uniform shirt.

His hands and face were darkly tanned.

But his arms and top of his head were untouched by the sun.
That was, until he retired.

In his post Log Cabin life, he turned that tan into a normal farmer's tan by wearing short sleeves during long hours of fishing in Florida.

So there's the long and short of my two versions of "Dad."

I suppose most of us remember him this way:

as Dad and/or Grandpa (Papa) Bob

But, if I have to sum up my memory of him in one picture...

this one is a favorite and might be it.

No matter what version,

I love and miss him on Father's day and everyday.

Happy Flag Day!

2011-06-14T11:27:00.001-04:00

Flashback Friday...Twister

2011-06-10T03:35:00.002-04:00

Back in January, I re-watched the movie Twister.
This was the third time seeing it.
The first was on the big screen in the theater...in which one of the key scenes involving a semi-truck, was ruined for me, due to loud talkers coming out of the theater.
The second time was watching it on a tiny screen with a wide-eyed South African named Heidi.
I remember after one of the first scenes with a tornado in it, she turned to me and said,
"this movie, where does it take place?"
I answered, "Oklahoma."
to which she asked with a little bit of fear in her voice,
"and this, (insert South African accent) Ok-la-ho-ma?, How far is it from In-di-an-a?"
I could tell there were certain American experiences that she was hoping not to partake.

But I'll tell you, after watching it the third time and then watching just a couple months later the REAL live heartbreak and destruction that this force of nature can bring....I'm not sure if I'll ever want to watch the movie again.

Especially after learning via Facebook that my family was undergoing the threat of dark skies last weekend.
I THANK GOD no one was hurt.
I am sad to see the pictures tho, especially the trees and the landscape that we grow so fond of seeing and enjoying. (see Sister Susie's FB folder named "Storm")

I was in Indy and missed the storm, so I have no first hand story.

And I knew that some day I would post the following pictures, but never knew or imagined or wanted to be linking this Flashback Friday to a current event.

I went thru this storm, I think. But have no memory of it...or first hand story. I believe I must have been cradled in someone's arms...and whoever you were, I thank you.
So, I'll just post the pictures with the captions that were written by my parents and brothers and sisters and I'll let your comments and your memories tell the story of the:

It must have made quite an impression on these caption writers!

Directions to here:
What do you remember about the Storm of '65?

Flashback Friday...a Long Line of Strong Circles.

2011-06-03T18:23:00.007-04:00

I've been thinking about this one long before I wrote last Friday's story about Erin.

It's a hard one to write.

What I didn't tell you about meeting Erin was the complex emotions that swirled around in my head the whole time I was at the hospital.

Most delivery days are full of expectation, baby wonder, and hope.

I love the thought of being able to tell my nieces and nephews: "I was there the day you were born." and "I've known you your entire life."

I am in awe of those little lives that are less than hours old.

"Brand New" as mom used to laugh about. "Brand New Baby." I don't know why she got such a kick out of that phrase...but she did.

It's hard to comprehend what it means...to meet someone who has their entire lives are ahead of them and only minutes behind them.

When it meets the 24 hour mark, I often say: "you are 1 day old."

At the week: "you are 1 week old."

I love saying it, cause it is so special and will never happen again.

One of my favorite lines, from one of my favorite songs, from one of my favorite bands...says...

"I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself, to hold on to these moments as they pass...."
(counting crows, a long december).

That line has run through my head hundreds of times.
It was there when I said goodbye to someone I love with all my heart.
I heard it frequently when I watched my mom fight for her life, knowing that someday she was going to have to leave me before I was ready for her to go.
It is engrained in my head...it is on the soundtrack of my life. I try to live my life...aware that the moments are fleeting and that I need to hold on to them and experience every second of those moments that take our breath away.

But...in reality, we get busy.
We often don't know what moments we are going to wish we held onto. It's only after they pass by us that we remember and wish we would have been more present or had more moments.

And honestly it is a line that I mostly equate with inevitable endings, leavings, goodbyes and death...
Not at a baby's arrival into the world...where there are SO MANY moments ahead of them.....

That was, until I read the heartbreaking news that James and Shel found out at their last ultrasound.

That news followed me to the hospital and...

There I was, looking at Erin's tiny little face...

...and realizing...that even tho she has her whole life ahead of her...nothing....NOT ONE MOMENT....is guaranteed to us.
So, I held her and I held my breath at the same time....and just looked.

I tried to hold her and see her, really see her and study her like I would not ever see her again.

I tried to imagine not having many moments....and to really "Hold on to these moments as they pass."

And honestly, it was all a little too overwhelming...and I still don't know, How.

How.

How does one?

How will they?

I can only imagine that it will be like the story I told mom the night before her first dialysis treatment...of Corrie Ten Boom and her father .

That Grace will be there.
Not before.
But only and right when we need it.

Grace to help in time of Need.
(Hebrews 4:16)

That is the Truth I hear in my head, but in my heart...
I still wonder.

But when there are things I cannot fathom, I usually turn to my heroes and I look to and learn from the past. Our past.
I stop and say:
"what would my mom do?"
"What would my mom say?"

And in looking to our past.
Our family's past;
I find that our family has had it's fair share of heartbreak when it comes to babies who have had far too few moments.

Even before Shel's news...

I noticed when I was reading the Kenney geneaolgy book...there had to have been a lot of sorrow and heartache for our ancestors.

I did not know that:

Aunt Lulu lost not one, but 3 infant babies. Her daughter Ruth lost her first born as well.
Uncle Guy Tilton's 2nd grandchild died at birth.
Aunt Phebe's first born died at one month old.
Uncle Ralph and Aunt Iris' first born died as a baby.

I did know that:

Grandma Bryant's first son died at one month.
And Aunt Gladys' 2nd girl, Barbara Gay, lived just one day.

I read these names and dates in the book that Ruby wrote and they look so simple in black and white type.

But, the sorrow, pain and untold stories that lie between the lines of those names is, to me, unfathomable.

Iris, Lulu and Phebe

But, they survived.
They made it through and lived and grieved and loved and laughed and I suppose, learned to "hold on to the moments as they passed."

How?

How did they?

Faith?
Grace?
Hope?
Love?

It appears that...

Our Family has been and is a Circle of Strength and Love
With every Birth and Union the Circle has and does grow
Every joy shared has and does add more love
Every crisis faced together has and does
make the Circle Stronger.

My intention in writing this is not to take away the wonderful joy of having a newborn in the family.
Continue to MARVEL and hope and ooh and ahh...away.
I am not trying to dwell on the past or fret for the near future.

It is simply to find a map.
A map for the great journey of life, no matter how long or how short our moments may be.
To know that someone in our family has been there before.
Our Mothers, Fathers, Grandmas, Grandpas, Brothers, Sisters, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins....have walked this road and survived. I don't know how, but they did.

I find great comfort in this and I can only hope and pray that it brings comfort and grace to help our family in time of need.

And remember, Hold on to those moments as they pass.

Flash....FORWARD Friday....

2011-05-27T22:57:00.017-04:00

Yes.

Flash Forward.

I admit it.
Being a memory keeper, I spend a lot of time in Flash......back mode.

I am working on scanning my photos, mom and dad's photos, cousins photos, your photos.
I've read The Kenney book that Carl Kenney Jr. wrote and cross referenced it with Ruby's genealogy book and I am finally starting to wrap my head around these ancient photos, stories and crazy, related to each other 3 different ways, family.

I spend a lot of time thinking about people who are not with us anymore.
Walking thru the grave yards with Ruby was a sobering experience. At some point she turned and said "I know a lot of people here!" Sadly, she probably knows more people below ground than above ground.

And it made me want to cling to every moment I have in the present.

I have done a lot of wishing that I could have known more about our ancestors. And I'm trying to track down stories before it is too late. To keep those memories. And in so doing keep the memory of those people alive.

But the memory keeping is not just for those who have left us.
Yes, I hope they look down and are pleased that I am remembering them.
But, I've found that a very big part of being a memory keeper is not just in order to honor those who have gone on before us...but to preserve memories for those who will come after us.

To write it down, to tell the story, to take the picture, to save the picture, so that the little people who we spend our time with will have an idea of who we were.
Of how much we loved each other.
Of how much we loved them.
That THEY may look back and know who they are and who they come from.

It is with this AWESOME awareness...that I flash forward to the day that I tell Erin Elizabeth about the day she was born and how her Grandma and I changed her name 6 times on the way to the hospital to wait for her to be born.

"I don't know how Grandma Susie found out what your name was to be, because apparently your big brother, Drew knew your name, but was not telling anyone...no matter how much or with what your Uncle Bobby tried to bribe him. All he would talk about was "taking baby to the beach."
Anyway, we knew you were supposed to be a girl, and someone had told me that day that your mom and dad had picked out the name, Erin.

I was up from Indianapolis for your cousins, Adam and Ali's wedding shower...and I was VERY happy that you decided to make your birthday on a day that I was there!

There was Sunshine when we left the shower and got to the farm. But then it turned very Windy and the clouds started to roll in as well as Uncle Bobby, who was on the tractor planting corn. Grandma Susie was hustling me along, trying to get to the hospital before it turned Stormy.

We got in the car before the Rain started, but it really let loose as we headed up Colorado. Of course this didn't slow Grandma Susie down and as we flew over the hills in Southeast Grove, I thought of your Great Grandma Helen, who grew up and played in this Grove and I wondered if, while playing with her baby doll, she ever imagined having a real live doll, let alone 3 generations of babies : )

By the time we turned west to cross over to the nine mile stretch, the sky was looking pretty scary. Even tho there was still Sunshine ahead of us the sky behind us looked like it had turned into night. And that's when the Hail started to hit.

Now, hail is pretty scary when you are safe inside, but with your Grandma not slowing down and lightening and thunder all around, it was pretty crazy having that hail fall and hit our windshield head on, but your Grandma was on a mission and kept right on driving. I turned into my mom, your Grandma, and started quoting her "oooh. I don't like this lightening!"

By the time we reached the hospital, the hail had stopped, but it was still pouring Rain, but never fear, we used our umbrellas that we had just received as favors at the wedding shower.

We made our way up to where your mom and dad were walking the halls, trying to coax you to hurry up and make your appearance.
By the time we settled into the waiting room...we looked out the window and we were back to SUNSHINE.

So, little girl. As you can see you were a child of the Elements!
Your crazy Aunt Nancy suggested changing your name to "Sunshine" or "Windy" or "Stormy" or "Rain" or "Hailey" because you went thru all those to get to us on that "Spring" day that you joined our family.

Fortunately for you, no one listens to crazy Aunt Nancy and they stuck with Erin.
And I have to admit when I met you and you were just 40 minutes old, Erin was a perfect fit.

Now, you take that memory and keep it and tell it to your child on the day your first grand baby is born. And don't forget your umbrella...you never know what might happen on the way to the hospital!"

Directions to here:

Write it down, take a picture, record it all. BACK UP YOUR HARD DRIVE!!! Keep those memories!

Flashback Friday...High School Sweethearts

2011-05-20T23:48:00.004-04:00

Tipping my hat to the Keeper of the Stars

and to these two High School Sweethearts!

Happy 10th Anniversary

Luke & Tammy

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T00:11:00.002-04:00

Some people imagine heaven is where streets are paved with gold.

Forget the gold, I'll just be happy to see her waiting for me on this porch...just like in life.

I love and miss you mom.

every.single.day.of.my.life.

Flashback Friday...Egg Hunt

2011-04-22T23:13:00.001-04:00

Dozens of Eggs...

Loads of Candy...

Egg Hunt at Mom & Dad's

Egg Hunt at the Haydens

Egg Hunt at the Moores

Kids with Grandma Fern after an Egg Hunt at the Lowell Nursing Home

Egg Hunts at the Vandercars

Want to know what Bob Vandercar as a child might have looked like hunting Eggs? Here you go:

Drew spots an egg in those shoes!

.....and years of cuteness!!!!

Flashback Friday...Baby Fern & Baby Deandra

2011-04-15T14:22:00.000-04:00

Here is the answer to last weeks question:

You can find Baby Fern in the right bottom corner.

It looks like someone took a blue pen and circled her face.

But here's the rest of the shot, just to make it easier for you.

I wanted to get a "Welcome to the World" picture of Baby Deandra posted on here, but I am years behind on this blog.
I also have pictures from her Baptism last Sunday, where she was pretty happy to get baptized. This picture is afterward and she's pretty mad and hungry in this picture, but as soon as I saw her Baptismal gown, I knew that I would put this picture of Baby Fern and Baby Deandra together for

"Today's Yesterday"

which, yes, Susie, I know I'm behind on that as well.

Life moves too fast for blogging.

Flashback Friday....Baby Fern

2011-04-08T17:59:00.000-04:00

This Flashback Friday is a episode of "Where's Waldo," er, um...I mean, Grandma Fern.

Can you spot

Baby Fern?

Hint...if you look closely...it looks like she's already been identified.

And speaking of being identified....I'm looking for anyone who remembers or has info about this photo studio in Lowell:

Does anyone know the who, what, where, when history of this business, photo studio or photographer? It would have been the late 1800's early 1900's. I want to know where it was and who E.H. Handley was, what became of the business and if any relatives remain.

Ok. You all know me. Honestly, I want to know what happened to the archives and negatives.

Also, Vilmer Studio and Hayward Studio in Crown Point.

Directions to here:
Ask any old timer you know and report back!!!!
And stay tuned for the full portrait that will identify Baby Fern!

Flashback Friday................dance with nance debuts in Columbus.

2011-03-11T03:59:00.001-05:00

The Farmer Takes a Wife......Happy Ten!

2011-03-10T22:37:00.001-05:00

There are Golden Birthdays.

Are there such as thing as "golden anniversaries?"

well, I guess that would be the "50th"...but these two are well on their way.

Happy Tenth March 10th to Matt and Chari!

Flashback Friday....George's day.

2011-03-04T01:24:00.002-05:00

I had my "President's Day" holiday not long ago. I didn't get it on the actual "President's Day," but had what I call a "rebate" holiday...a day off on a day different than the actual holiday.

Now, I've been told that anyone a little older than me remembers the time before there was a "President's Day."

The generic, always on a monday, "President's Day" holiday is a fairly new version of an old holiday. You can read the official history here, but the long and short of it, is that the government stepped in and lumped two birthdays/holidays together and moved it to a monday. My older and wiser brothers and sisters can probably tell you these two birthdays belong to

President George Washington and President Abraham Lincoln. They might even be able to tell you the exact dates.

All I could have told you was that it was a day to honor Our Presidents.

Anyone younger would probably say it's a day/weekend to shop and/or get a deal on a car.

But if you talk to someone as old and wise as Aunt Gladys West, you might hear something about this holiday that you never knew before!

According to Aunt Gladys, Grandpa George (Vandercar) was originally supposed to be named Grandpa Raymond (Vandercar). But when he decided to make his way into the world on February 22 (George Washington's Birthday), Albert and Hattie decided to name him George Ray instead.

And that, as Paul Harvey would say...."Is the rest of the story."

Directions to here:

Time will only tell what stories the littlest ones will say about George Washington's/President's Day/Grandpa George's Birthday. But hopefully, this will help them keep the old stories alive.

Flashback Friday..."We're going to Disney World!!"

2011-02-25T01:39:00.003-05:00

Looking forward to hearing the Hayden Disney Review and seeing some new pics.

The last time I was at Disney these shorts were in style and okay to wear in public!

I think the only other time that I was at Disney was with Mom and Dad.

I remember Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and It's a Small World. Where we got stuck in a boat for a long time. Stuck in a boat with Bob Vandercar. Stuck in a boat with Bob Vandercar and "It's a small world being sung over and over and over and over again. Stuck in a boat with Bob Vandercar and "It's a small world being sung over and over" and long enough for even a kid under 10 to see that it's just machines moving the same motion over and over.

Maybe I should have gone again to get that song out of my head!

Anyway, here's some more vintage Disney...

I know there is more...just have to do more digging!

Directions to here:
Did I make this story up about getting stuck in the "It's a Small World ride?" How in the world did Mom ever make it thru Disney world? A lotta walking...yet it seems like we were all on this ride together. Dave, Patty? were you there? Anyone? Memory Keeper is failing. However, I do remember all the words to "It's a Small World." Afterall.

Flashback Friday...Valentines times 35.

2011-02-18T03:03:00.000-05:00

These two have celebrated 35 Valentine's Days as their anniversary!

I'm pretty sure it was all smiles around the Hoshaw house last Sunday nite as they watched their lives flash before their eyes in a video the kids put together.

If you haven't seen it it...I'll leave the Flashbacking up to the Hoshaw kids.

Go to Sarah's (or any of the Hoshaw's facebook pages) and watch their anniversary video.

Great job, kids!

Flashback Friday...Charlotte, Stories and Time

2011-02-11T04:03:00.008-05:00

Tomorrow I will go to the Celebration of Life of Charlotte DeKock.

You may not remember meeting Charlotte, but let's see if I can help you make the connection.

Charlotte was my mom's first cousin.
Their moms were sisters.

If you are older than me, you may remember Charlotte as your teacher.
She taught at Center School and Hebron for years.

If you are my age or my siblings age, you might remember Aunt Helen and Uncle Bush Doyle who lived in Hebron, next to Aunt Jess.
Charlotte was their daughter.

If you are my age or one of my older nephews or nieces, you might remember Sally Allen, a teacher at the Middle School and Lowell High school.
Charlotte was Sally's mother.

If you live in Lake County, you might know these landmarks along 173rd (the road that Susie, Elden, Mike, Patty and Dave have all called their address over the years). The "Brown House" and "Golden Eagle Farm?" Charlotte was the owner.

(and if you are my Dad, you will remember Charlotte's family as your landlord...as Grandpa & Grandma Vandercar lived on and farmed the Doyle farm at one time).

As the list of connections grow, you can imagine that there is a lot of life to celebrate.

DeKock, Charlotte of Hebron, IN, passed away on Monday, January 31, 2011 at Oak Grove Nursing Home in Demotte, IN. Charlotte is survived by her son: William (Sandra) Knarr of Kokomo, IN; grandson: Timothy (Dionne) Allen of Indianapolis, IN; nephews: Bernie Doyle, Patrick Doyle, and Jeffrey Doyle of Hebron, IN; great-nephew: Andrew Patrick Doyle; great-niece: Kara Jane Doyle; step-daughters: Mary Stiles of Greenfield, IN, Kathryn Searle of Orem, UT, and Helen (Max) Fishero of Hebron, IN; step-grandchildren; step-great-grandchildren, and step-great-great-grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her first husband: Harry Dale Knarr; second husband: J. John DeKock; brother: James Doyle; daughter: Sally Jane Allen. Charlotte spent 29 years as a public school teacher at Center and Hebron Schools. She traveled throughout the United States and the world both in her early years and continued exploring into her 80's. She was well liked in the community where she lived her entire life and was known for her love of reading books, passion for watching Chicago sports teams and tennis and her generosity to all whom she met. During her life she was a member of the Hebron United Methodist Church and the Range Line Presbyterian Church as well as several local women's groups. A Memorial Service will be held on Saturday, February 12, 2011 at 1:00 PM at Geisen Funeral-Cremation & Reception Centre (NOTE: NEW LOCATION-2 blocks east of Broadway) at 606 E. 113th Ave., Crown Point, IN. Friends may visit with the family on Saturday, February 12, 2011 from 12:00 to 1:00 PM at Geisen Funeral-Cremation & Reception Centre. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be given to The Hebron Public Library. Sign guestbook or view directions at www.GeisenFuneralHome.com. 219-663-2500.

I was sad to hear the news of Charlotte's passing.
Sad to see another family member leave us.
Charlotte was quite a character and a real lady.
She was always interested in my work overseas and was very generous in her support of my work and various other causes. When I went to work at the bookstore, a whole new topic of conversation came up as to what I was reading and what was next on her book list.
I was sad to know that I will not see her lovely smile or hear her laugh again.

I also felt sad that I had let her down.
I remember saying goodbye to her at Sally's memorial service and she said to me "Don't forget about me!" I knew what she was saying, but I turned it around and made it about her and her unique personality and told her it would be impossible to forget someone like her. I knew what she was really saying was "don't forget to come visit me."

And I did visit.
Every time that Aunt Mary would come to Indiana, we would go see Char.
The last time we called, she wasn't up for a visit, but we all chatted on the phone. She told me next time call a few days ahead and she would be ready for me. But time flies....

Last September Jane and I talked about needing to go see Char to show her some pics and get some stories down...
but time flies....

and now, I'm so very sad that time flies....
and with time....all those stories of that very full life she lead have flown away with her.

And oh the stories!
I am just now realizing that Charlotte was 9 years older than my mom.
She knew EVERYONE...on my mom's side of the family.
She knew my grandparents. My Great Aunts. My Great Uncles. My Aunts. My Uncles. Even little Winfred. She would have been there. For everything. My mom's birth. Aunt Mary's birth. Grandpa Bryant's Dillinger story. Births, weddings, funerals. All of it.

And if you don't believe me ask Aunt Mary (another lady with a lot of stories) who wrote this memory on Char's memorial page guestbook:

"Seventy-five years ago Charlotte was teaching the 5th and 6th grade classes at Center School in Eagle Creek township. I was in the second grade and I did not like school or my teacher. I think I was quite a problem. For punishment my teacher would make me sit out in the hall. If Charlotte saw me she would come and get me and take me to her classroom. There I could sit with my older sister, Helen Jean. Thanks to Charlotte, my cousin, I survived the second grade."

Mary Lou Ann Bryant Cobb

If I'm reading Aunt Mary's story right, that means Charlotte was my mom's teacher and she knew my mom when my mom looked like this:

Oh, the questions I have! Oh, the stories, untold.

The older I get the more I realize I may be too young for this memory keeper gig.

If I had only known what questions to ask when so many of the story tellers were still with us. But I was a surly teenager and then a young adult, absorbed in my own life. And all that time, time was flying.

Now, I am trying to make up for lost time. Looking, listening and writing it all down....but time flies.

God Bless you Charlotte.

You were always kind to me. You, your smile and that laugh will be missed.

A Song for a Tuesday Morning

2011-02-08T04:39:00.003-05:00

Lyrics to this version:

Precious Lord, take my hand,

Bring me home through the night,

Through the dark, through the storm, to thy light.

I have been to the mount,

I have seen the Promised Land.

Precious Lord, precious Lord, take my hand.

Precious Lord, Take my hand,

Bring Thy child home at last,

Where the strife and the pain all are past.

I have dreamed a great dream that

Thy love shall rule our land.

Precious Lord, precious Lord, take my hand.

Precious Lord, take my hand,

Take Thy child unto Thee,

With my dream of a world that is free.

For that day when all flesh joins the glory

Thou hast planned,

Precious Lord, precious Lord, take my hand.

Directions to here:

This was recorded the morning of Mom & Dad's 50th anniversary party.

Our family and the church and choir had just heard that Uncle George had died in the early morning hours.

Flashback Friday...It's a small world after all.

2011-01-28T01:52:00.000-05:00

I've always read Verna and Shel's blogs.

But since James, Shel and Eliza have been in Korea, I have really enjoyed reading and watching both blogs, along with Shel's Facebook picture posts.

Shel has always done a great job posting lots of pics and since going overseas, it has made us feel like she is right next door instead of half the globe away.

When Shel came home for her visit, it was great to see their reunion posted on Verna's blog and that because of Skype, Eliza knew and remembered her Nana and reached out for her on sight.

It was even more great to see Shel and Eliza in person at Sunday dinner.

Watching Shel and James have their going away party, packing, saying goodbyes, and going on this venture has reminded me of another young kid, who took off into the wild blue yonder some 23 plus years ago.

Leaving home to go to Romania

At the airport

Saying goodbye and boarding the plane.

Watching Mike and especially Verna has made me realize even more what my Dad and especially my Mom went thru the year that their baby was an ocean away.

When I went overseas there was no email, no cell phones, no internet, and to make things worse, I was in a Communist country where we were likely to be followed, watched and listened to while calling on payphones and have our mail read. Fortunatly, one of the guys on our team was on a scholarship and we could send and receive letters that wouldn't be read thru the American Embassy.

Needless to say it was a long year.

And lots of days, Home felt a million miles away.

London, Paris, Rome......Lowell.

I know, as do all involved, that no matter how easy it is to communicate...

that when you are homesick, sick or just plain tired of being away...nothing can take the place of being HOME.

But...man...Skype, email, facebook and blogs...sure do help in easing the distance.

Just the fact that Eliza reached out to Verna, is worth it's weight in bandwidth and the cost of computer gear and the frustration of figuring it all out.

I have marveled and continue to be amazed at how crazy different the world is post internet. Turns out Disney had it right, "It is a small world afterall."

I wish for my Mom's sake, that all this technology would have been available for her.

I think it would have saved her a lot of worrying, gray hairs and weight loss.

I too, came home mid point for a break.

Before I got home, I started warning mom that I had lost a lot of weight. I flew into Midway at night and while I was still on the plane, I saw Dad thru the airport window. But as I came thru the gate, I could not believe what I saw when I looked at my Mom. I had thought they would be worried about the weight I lost, no one warned me about how much weight Mom had lost! I know it was a hard year for her and I regret the time away from her and the hours she must have spent worrying.

I learned a lot during my time overseas. I am a different person for having lived in a different culture.

I'm still glad I did it, but there is nothing that can replace the time that is lost from not being with the ones you love. I wish I had that time back with my parents.

I am glad James and Shel are getting this experience and they too, will be different people for having living overseas.

But I am sure glad that the world has gotten smaller and that all this amazing technology is letting them be where they need to be and serve where they need to serve, and yet, be "Home" with us at the same time. (even if it is just on our computer screens : )

the things we do for love

2011-01-24T01:47:00.001-05:00

justagirlon105 in or around 1976

Yes.

It is what you think it is.

No.

I'm not a Packers fan.

My relationship with professional baseball is simple.

I am a Cubs fan.

My relationship to professional football is and always has been a bit more complicated.
My young life and choice of colors was influenced by having a crush on a Packers fan and feeling the need to dress to impress.
Hence, the Packers gear, which my mom (or someone) bought for me without questioning my choices (that I remember, anyway).
It was puppy love and all my efforts got me nowhere with the aforementioned Packer Fan.

My current life is filled with walking (or really driving) a tightrope that is stretched between a city and BOSS that are Colts fans and a Home and Family that are Bears fans.
I usually cheer accordingly, based on which direction the car is pointed.
But I will have you know, when it came down to that one Super game...I said

"Go Bears."

There is my photo confession.
Please forgive my folly.

Bear Down...until next year!

Directions to here:
It IS quite possible that this is a Steeler's jacket. But, I'm pretty sure it was Packers...but the pic looks sort of black and gold. Can't make out the logo, to be sure.

What I do know for sure is I loved that dog, prolly more than I loved the Packer Fan : )

Flashback Friday...Who was Chuck?

2011-01-21T05:19:00.003-05:00

Here is why I accomplish and complete

NOTHING.

On the Fixing Vandercar front, Sandy gives me a new assignment for my apartment (long story there), to start in my storage space downstairs.

I grab the first box and it is full of slide trays:

This SHOULD be an easy box to get rid of, because they are not my slides.
They are not mom and dad's slides.
They are not your slides.

They are Chuck and Ruth Benbow's slides.

Several days later (since I brought the box upstairs),
and a couple (ahem, four) hours later (that I spent looking at the slides),
and a google search and 100 sites and more hours later,
I found what I think is an address for Chuck and Ruth's son.

But, in all this meandering (and NOT working on the storage space)...
I have more questions than answers.

Mainly...

Who was Chuck Benbow?

Here's what I do know about Chuck.

1. He was a friend of my dads
2. He and my dad could have passed for twins, having the same haircut, body build and wardrobe.

3. He was married to Ruth.

4. He hung out at the Log Cabin
5. He lived in the small house next to Ellis' house.
6. He seemed to care about us kids a lot (from all the pics I can gather).

7. He had a great smile, a sense of humor and a ready laugh.
8. He was a good golf teacher.
9. He and Ruth moved to Florida.

10. According to Ruth's obituary, they had a son Bruce of Naperville and a daughter, Dorothy Gergely of Crown Point.

My main memories of Chuck are of him teaching me to golf.

I am still unclear as to what possessed my dad to by a thirteen year old girl a set of golf clubs, even tho she never expressed an interest in golf. I remember mom smiling and saying..."they are from your dad" and coaxing me out of my bewilderment (I'm sure all I wanted was a Fleetwood Mac record) and on to saying "thank you." I now realize that he was retiring and was making an effort to spend time with me (which now, breaks my heart a little, especially to know, how I scoffed at the idea of golfing).

When it came time to the actual golf outing, it was Chuck that took the lead. He was a member at Curtis Creek in Rensselaer and I can remember looking to dad for instructions and he said Chuck's gonna teach you...cause all I'll do is teach you how to slice it to the right.

And Chuck taught. He seemed to absolutely not mind having a kid who never held a golf club in her life. I'm sure I slowed down his game and enjoyment of the outing, but he never seemed to mind at all. I would give the world to be back on that golf course again, between those two friends. But this silly girl was more interested in driving the cart, then listening what those two had to say, let alone asking the questions that I didn't know then that I would have now.

The other main memory is Dad showing up with several boxes of darkroom equipment. Apparently Chuck and Ruth had found out that I was taking an interest in photography. Chuck showed up with an enlarger, timer, easels and all kinds of darkroom stuff. All they asked was that I use it and enjoy it. He said that Ruth always wanted to have a darkroom, but that the chemicals weren't good for their septic system. I set up a darkroom "behind the shelves" in the basement and spent hours down there. I used it for several years. Some of that equipment is in that storage space.

Which brings me back to the slides.
I am 90% sure that with the darkroom equipment, they gave me a slide projector and this box of slides.
But looking thru the slides, I don't see them in any of them. There are slides labeled "Charlie" with a man that could be Chuck's dad?? and there is one slide of an older lady that looks a little like Ruth. The slides themselves are pretty retro fantastic. Imagine my gasp of delight when I realized that "our trip from our place to utah to..." was taken in a Gold Station Wagon pulling a silver Airstream!

But, not seeing Chuck and Ruth in any of the slides, I'm not sure if they came from The Benbow's or if they came from Dad's "junkyard job." (which is another basement/garage story in and of itself).

I found a listing for Bruce Benbow in Naperville and am thinking of writing to see if he is Chuck's son and if he can confirm the names on the slides as relations. And to see if he is interested in the slides (see Sandy...I'm getting rid of things in my storage space).

But this brings me back to my question.

Who was Chuck Benbow?

Why didn't we know his kids or did we?
How did he know dad?
What did he do for a living?
Where was he from?
Who are his parents?

I would have asked him myself while we were golfing, but I was too busy being a thirteen year old teenager.

Please send answers if you can.

Survey

2011-01-18T04:50:00.001-05:00

I am having fun with the new 365 project...which I've started calling

Today's yesterday

Have you had a look?

Scanning film takes FOREVER and at this rate, I'll be done scanning 30 years of film when I'm 101.

Here's my question.

I like the photoblog site, because it puts everything in calender format.
I had no problem posting pics when I was doing my picture a day project cause most of the pics were random shots.

I'm feeling a little uncomfortable putting these more personal shots up there everyday tho because of stories like THIS , where a family ended up having their faces spread across a grocery store ad without them knowing it.

I've thought of moving the project over to this blog, but there will be other stuff that breaks up the "continuity" of the 365 project.
I don't want to "lock" the site down, cause I want you be able to see them without registering to yet another site.

I don't like facebook, cause I like pictures on a black background. (I'm picky like that).

What say you all?
They are pictures of you and your kids. Do you fret over this as much as I do?
I guess if you put them online they are public.

Susie says I'm over thinking.
who me, overthink?

Any suggestions?

What does the survey say?

Flashback Friday...Sons of Worley

2011-01-14T19:11:00.015-05:00

I was sad to hear that the Moore family lost another member this week.

Terry Moore was Junior's youngest brother.

I mostly got to know him thru shared events that focused around Janet, Junior and Darold's life. I saw him mostly at birthday parties, car shows, races and later on, visiting Junior in the hospital.

I remember Terry as a kind man who liked to tease Janet's shy baby sister.
Even tho I was just a kid, he always took the time to talk to me or try to get me to smile or laugh. As I grew up, I enjoyed his stories and watching him interact with his family.

He was a character in his own right, but what I remember most, is the way that these brothers played off of each other when they were all together.
Each of the Moore men are very unique people, but put them together and you have

The Sons of Worley

It would be a great sitcom or at least a very amusing radio talk show that would run the gambit of such topics as cars, beer, cars, truck driving, cars, family, cars, traveling, cars, kids, cars, drag racing, cars, motorcycles, cars, unions, cars, home improvement projects, cars, pets, cars, wives, cars, grandkids, cars, memories of Lydia and Worley, cars and more cars. (can you tell these guys liked cars? : )

Wilcus had already moved to Texas by the time I came along...so most of my memories are of a combination of two or three of the brothers together.

What I liked most was just listening in on their animated chats, as Mick brings up the topic, Junior asks questions, Terry talks fast; Mick raises the bar or plays the devil's advocate by contradicting, Junior talks louder, Terry talks faster...repeat this cycle until the case of beer is gone or the race is finished or the car show is over...

I will miss the above "movie moments" when they were all together "shooting the bull" like that, the
most.

Thanks Terry, for always being kind to me and for being a good guy.

Love,
Janet's baby sister.

Flashback Friday...Memory Keeping.

2011-01-07T06:20:00.008-05:00

The New Year.

Lots of buzz about resolutions and projects.

Several people asked if I was going to do the 365 project (take one photo everyday) again.

I contemplated it and am not against it, it's just that I have SO MANY pictures already and haven't done anything with them.

I am a memory hoarder.

I do not apologize for this. I am not ashamed.

I love being a Memory Keeper.

I like being able to match a face to a name. A picture to a dot on a map. An item to a word in the dictionary. Even better, if said item has a sentimental value attached to it. Each snapshot is a movie in my head. A paragraph in a book. A link to the past and gives hope and meaning to the future.

I have thousands of pictures from the days of film. Not to mention the photos from our family's archive, dating back to the 1800's. These need to be seen. To be shared. To be marveled upon and enjoyed.

So, I'm back with a 365 project.

It will be 365 scans to be (where able) paired with 365 digital shots.

The goal is to stir up the stories. So feel free to comment and share your memory.

Directions to here:

Won't promise that they go up on a daily basis...but here's where they will be posted:

365 memories

same time next year

2010-12-30T23:58:00.000-05:00

Remember the

365 Project?

I finally posted the last picture of 2009.

Steph ended up being the most faithful with her garden blog.

I would love to see that made into a flip book.

And Shel has been posting all this year.

And there are several friends that want to make another go of it.

If you want to join up here's the link to the

365 Project Facebook Group

I haven't committed to a photo a day yet.

But I am planning on

365 Scans

so hopefully we will see some more Flashback Friday material come this way!!!

Flashback Friday...Moore December.

2010-12-03T23:39:00.001-05:00

December.

Nothing will take away the memory of cold December mornings.

But here is a warm memory from another day in December.We love you Moore Family.

Flashback Friday...SureShots

2010-11-19T03:18:00.001-05:00

Two SureShots

Directions to here:
Be careful out there!

Flashback Friday...the meaning behind the meal.

2010-11-12T23:18:00.000-05:00

I can't count the number of meals that I sat down to eat at this table.

And after sharing our version of comfort food and what we thought was normal everyday food, I found out that "normal" people think meals in the Vandercar kitchen were a little odd.

Okay, well, whatever.
But, I will admit there was one combination that even though I loved, I never really understood how the two went together. It was the nights we would have grilled cheese and homemade cocoa made on the stove.

Mom would use velveeta for the sandwiches and try as I might, I can never get it to be as gooey and smooth as hers. She would make hot chocolate on the stove and all I remember is a lot of stirring and that it tasted sooooo much better than any mix out of packet ever could.

I was always a little grossed out, cause Dad would take his grilled cheese and dip it in the cocoa.

But, I guess, with all the other combinations of food we had, I never thought to ask why we were the only ones that I ever knew of that ate these two things together.

Fast forward to 2001.
My mom has been gone for 2 years and I'm beginning to see how the rest of my life is going to be. The older I get, the more questions I have. Not big ones. Just simple ones. Where did you get this watch? Why did you say this phrase (Home again, Hooligan)? Who gave you that plate? Some questions so simple that only she would ever know the answer to.

I am interviewing and video taping my dad for his 80th birthday video. He answers most questions by shrugging his shoulders and nodding yes or no...real captivating material! We are talking about his time as a POW. He as usual, does not have much to say. He tells me what they ate. He tells me that they slept on wood bunks and shared blankets. He tells me about a radio that they hid in the latrine. I ask him what the May 8th was like, the day that the war ended. He tells me that they woke up and all the Germans were gone and the gates were open. He tells everyone wanted to go across the street to a barn where they knew the Germans were stockpiling Red Cross packages, but everyone was afraid that it was a trap or a trick that the Germans were playing. He tells me that the trucks come and give them the good news that the War is over. He tells me that they were given their first real meal and they all thought they would eat and eat and eat, but they could hardly finish one sandwich cause their stomachs had shrunk so much. I ask him what they were fed. He tells me "grilled cheese and hot cocoa."

Ding.
The dime drops.
I have a huge smile.
The strange combination finally makes sense.

For as long as they were married, my mom lovingly made and fed my dad the Victory Meal that reminded him of one of the happiest days of his life.Dad with fellow POW's

I believe this is at the camp that they were sent to after their release...to rest and recover.

So, I thought on this day after Veteran's Day and 2 days after their anniversary, it was a good time to make me a little grilled cheese and learn how to make hot cocoa on the stove.

It tasted just like home.

Directions to here:
How did mom make the cheese so much more gooey?
And yes, that is a plate from your childhood.

For you and for me....

2010-11-11T02:52:00.003-05:00

A Veteran
is someone, who at one point in their life,
wrote a blank check payable to the USA for an amount up to, and including,
their life.
Thanking my Dad
and everyone who has made this sacrifice for you and for me.

The Future

2010-11-10T03:15:00.002-05:00

On November Tenth

they married and faced

this
future.

Flashback Friday...Jump back.

2010-11-05T23:13:00.000-04:00

I've been taking pictures a long time.

Directions to here:
I saw this post in my head...even before I clicked the shutter.

Turner Trip...Day Two...Afternoon

2010-11-03T23:28:00.000-04:00

I did get back on the highway. And I did drive lots of miles without stopping. But in Tennessee even the Interstate is full of photo opportunities.

I had to stop and see what this place was all about.

Fireworks.

It always amazes me that there is one Fireworks place that can stay in business, let alone one at every other exit. I never see cars there. Some day I'm gonna investigate this world and see what kind of people keep these places in business.

But whoever they are and whoever the owners of this place is,God Bless their red, white and blue

Americana Patriotic Heart.

On the other side of the road there was a sign from my working girl past.

And an outlet for Sister Susie..."two please."

And I am not making this up...

These two things were living side by side.

I HAD to stop to take a picture of this sign.
A friend of mine had stopped a few years ago and took a picture of a neon Christmas Tree on her way back from somewhere.
I'm pretty sure this is the one. She told me about having to jump a fence to get the shot...and sure enough the INN was closed and fenced off, but I went to the parking lot of yet ANOTHER fireworks place and stepped around the corner and got my shot. Then turned around to find this one hiding in the trees.

By this time, it was later in the afternoon. I realized that I was not gonna make it to the beach house at a reasonable hour. So I resigned myself to waiting to see if Jill would call me...and got off the Interstate and onto the road that went in the general direction toward South Carolina...but thru the mountains of Tennessee.

Directions to here:
You'll soon see that I'm glad I did!

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeen!!!

2010-10-31T08:23:00.002-04:00

Flashback Friday...I Want Candy.

2010-10-29T02:01:00.002-04:00

This may be my favorite Halloween picture, ever.

Directions to here:
For adults only:
Sandy and I call this the F.U. Bunny pic.

Turner Trip...Day Two...Noon-ish

2010-10-24T03:57:00.000-04:00

The "drive straight thru" pedal was to the metal until I crossed this border and saw a sign for

Jelico, Tennessee.
For some reason, this name sounded familiar to me.
I was pretty sure that it was the town that Jr. had told me this story:

On one of their trips south, Jr. saw a sign for "The Mountain Woman Exchange."

Of course, this was some public service organization that went about educating women who happened to live near the mountains. But Jr. always teased about taking Janet back down there and exchanging her for a mountain woman.
I, of course, loved this story and thought it would be great to have a picture of the sign to go along with the story. Well, let me tell you, I saw the entire length of Jelico 2 or 3 times over and can say for sure that the Mountain Woman Exchange has either closed its doors or moved farther up the mountain. The mountain women at the corner gas station confirmed this for me and the sign and the Exchange is no longer there.

But there were quite a few other things to see and I ended up spending an hour or more taking in the sites:My kind of downtown
True Story:
He just showed up, riding the horse right down the middle of Main Street.
Is he looking for the Mountain Woman Exchange too?
Revival in the Appalachian south:

This could get interesting...

Down one of the residental streets, I saw this familiar site.
I wondered if it was the same truck, from the night before...(see previous post).

Fruit Stand?

I stopped at the Y intersection to take a picture of this building and a beat up pickup truck pulled off the side of the road and started waving and shouting something at me. I started to give my "just taking pictures" speech and realized all they were telling me (in a very thick mountain accent) was that I needed to take pictures of the back of the building.They were right.
A shell of a once glorious building.
I still think it is beautiful...in a desolate, stoic and noble way.
Then, walking back down the alley toward the car, I turned around and saw this scene:
At first, I couldn't tell what it was, but as I got closer realized,
I could never have dreamed up this shot.
But there it was, just waiting for me.
Perfect.

Flashback Friday...It's that time of the Year, again.

2010-10-22T03:18:00.000-04:00

Directions to here:

It's time to talk about 2010!

Send me your links, pics and clips!

Turner Trip...Day Two...Morning.

2010-10-19T15:00:00.004-04:00

Day Two started out...much like how Day One ended. Under glorious neon...daytime version.
It took me almost an hour to get out of the parking lot cause I had to capture these signs from every angle.
I don't know why. I just have to.

The only thing better than neon and neon that can be shot backwards...is if you can get both forward and backwards in the same shot.

You can see by my lingering in every corner of this motel that I am breaking down on my resolution to "drive straight there." I still have good intentions tho...Oh, wait...just one more, shot.

Oh yeah, and this one. It reminded me of a line in Sheryl Crow's "Leaving Las Vegas" about a Barstow and a Crossroad Trucker...so of course, I had to take just one more.

Okay, we're out of the parking lot.

We're back on the road....Southbound.

Flashback Friday....For Boone and friends

2010-10-08T23:18:00.001-04:00

A boy and his dog.

A girl and her grand-dog.

Directions to here:

"Be the person your dog thinks you are."

Thanks for the unconditional love, Boonie.

Turner Trip....Day One

2010-09-25T15:44:00.000-04:00

When it comes to me and traveling,
I should know better than to say certain things out loud.
Like:

1. WHEN I am going to leave for a vacation where driving is involved and
2. That I am going to DRIVE STRAIGHT THRU to my destination.

ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.

yeah, you get the picture.

So, the daylight portion of my first day on the road was spent running errands and packing the car.
At dusk (and 7 hours later than the "WHEN" I had said out loud), I finally pulled out on Main Street and headed South with "The Girl" set to lead me down to Pawleys Island, South Carolina.

Here's the first shot of the trip: A drive by shooting on the Interstate.
These ponies reminded me of the scene in "About Schmidt" where Warren and the cow share a solemn moment on the road.

After this, I pretty much did drive straight with no stops all night.
I passed Corbin KY and thought about stopping at Elmer's house
(where our Range Line church group did the house repair mission back in July).
I was curious to see if the siding I put up had blown away!
But I stayed the course and kept driving.

I did however, take a side swipe thru Corbin to find The Colonel's original cafe.

I figured since I was going to spend a week with the Sanders cousins, it was appropriate to stop and add this sign to my collection:

My trusty mom and pop motel guide told me that there was a motel in Williamsburg KY and I pressed on until I saw this beautiful site:

The only thing better than a neon motel sign,
is a sign that can be shot from the back.

Here's where I ate the best bacon, egg and cheese sandwich I've ever had:and the waitress called me, "Sweetie."

Here's what people do for fun in "them there hills of Kentucky."

And here's A Room with a View
that probably only I would request and love as much as I do.

It's gonna be a good trip!

Directions to here:

Main Street to Meridian
to I-65 South to I-64 to I-75
Be a good driver and obey The Girl.

Turner Trip Origins

2010-09-25T00:41:00.000-04:00

The last couple Flashback Friday's I've been talking Turners, getting ready for a trip where I would spend time with some Turner cousins, some I've met, others I had yet to meet.

Here's how the trip came about.

Since my trip out west to see Ruby, I have tried to be more intentional about getting stories written down, photos identified and trying to spend time with family and especially those who have a link to our past. You may remember a blog entry I wrote about different types of vacations and how I had decided that I wanted to try to work in more short trips or "Heritage Vacations" to meet with family members or visit places that meant something to our family history. I also thought it would be cool to do a "Social Media" vacation, meeting up with people from my past that I had re-connected with via Facebook. All this has been kicking around in my head, but time and work seems to always get in the way.

A few years ago, our cousin, Jane Sanders, who is the family Rock Star when it comes to genealogy, gave us a list of Turner cousins and their addresses and email. I stuck it away with other papers. Sometime later, I wrote a blog entry about Grandpa Bryant's Dillinger story and decided to send it to all the cousins who had an email address on the list.

Fast forward to the age of Facebook. I became friends with Jane and slowly started to add other Sanders and Spindler cousins as friends. One of the cousins that friended me was Cynthia Kent. I had to look at Jane's list once again to see where in the line up Cindy came into play. Cindy and Becky were Aunt Jess' granddaughters. Their mom was Nancy Spindler, who married Clay Kent.

Cindy shared great memories of coming for visits and spending time at Aunt Jess' farm, Aunt Helen's farm and visiting Grandma Bryant. Clay worked for Oscar Mayer and they lived in Wisconsin, Oklahoma and the family ended up in North Carolina.

One day I got a message on Facebook from Cindy asking if I'd ever been to South Carolina and that Jane and I should come visit in September...and that yes, she was the bossy one!

Recognizing that this fit in perfectly with the kind of vacation I had thought about, I asked for the last week in September off, never dreaming that I would actually make this trip across the country to spend a week with people I've never met!!!

But that is exactly what I did and am SO glad that it worked out. I got to spend time with some of the Sanders cousins, who I had already met once or twice over the years, but never had spent much time with and then I got to meet Cindy and Becky, our southern cousins. And oh, yeah, it all happened right next to the Ocean!

Then on the way home, I got to spend time with some friends that I had not seen in 20+ years.

Mission accomplished.

Directions to here:

Stay tuned for more pics, reunions and introductions!

Flashback Friday...Turner Time, Times Two

2010-09-24T15:30:00.002-04:00

Here's the next link in the Turner Chain of events that is leading to our cousin reunion.

These girls were the daughters of the Turner Sisters.

They were cousins.

Helen Jean (Bryant) Vandercar, Pauline (Polly) (Bryant) Hildebrandt, Gladys (Vandercar) West - friend of Helen and future sister-in-law, Phyllis (Spindler) Sanders and Nancy (Spindler) Kent

And they were our Mothers.

Directions to here:

This picture makes me so happy!

Aunt Mary told me she thinks this was maybe taken in Cedar Lake. And for some reason, I think they were at a Roller Rink...not sure if Aunt Mary or Dad told me that part.

Again, as always, tell me your side of the story!

Flashback Friday...Turner Time

2010-09-17T11:30:00.003-04:00

Getting ready to take a trip to meet some Turner Cousins that I connected with on Facebook.

Here's the beginning of the breakdown as to how we are related:

They were Sisters:

Jess (Turner) Spindler, Helen (Turner) Doyle, Florence (Turner) Bryant

and they were our Grandmothers.

Directions to here:

Stay tuned for the next link in the Turner chain....

and in the meantime feel free to leave a memory of these 3 Turner ladies.

(I mean, check out the pipe smokin' Aunt Helen Doyle)!

Stranger Than Fiction...Shout, Shout.

2010-09-15T03:51:00.004-04:00

movie moment #487

I'm in the parking lot of the store, standing over a trunk load of TIME-LIFE books having a customer yell and cuss at me while Tears for Fears "SHOUT, shout like it or not..." is on the turntable wafting out of the store's open doors. It's a TRUE STORY: You can't write this, you can't cast this!

Directions to here:

what she was thinking of: you're not giving me what I want so, fu#@ Y*# !!!!!!

what I was thinking of:
2 more days and then:
Vacation!

Flashback Friday...My first BBF

2010-09-10T23:15:00.001-04:00

B.F.F."Best Friends Forever"

I first learned the meaning of Best Friend in the 3rd grade, when a city girl moved into the house next door.
I was pretty skeptical about this city family at first, because at 8 or 9, I was pretty much heartbroken when Uncle Ralph and Aunt Iris sold their house and moved to Arkansas. Even tho I loved Uncle Ralph and Aunt Iris, my heartbreak probably had more to do with my previous best friends, Uncle Ralph's ponies, being sold off and how their absence completely changed my world.

I remember the first day that Carol Swanson was at school and when we got off the bus, she ran home to ask her mom if she could come over. It was the first of thousands of walks in between each others houses over the next several years.

The first day she was at our house, we were in the living room and I looked out the picture window to see Ruthie from across the street walking up the drive way. Now, I liked Ruthie just fine, but it didn't take long for me to imagine that 3 girls together often meant 2 against 1 and my third grade self decided that I was going to hide Carol from Ruthie, forever.
I told Carol to go stand in the kitchen and no matter what, don't come out.
Ruthie came to the door and I answered it without inviting her in. I made up some excuse about her not being able to come in and as the conversation went on, I had this strange sensation that Carol was standing behind me. The guilt, probably was getting the best of me and I said "oh forget it, you're gonna know soon enough" and I turned around to introduce Carol to Ruthie, but no one was there! I pretty much shoved Ruthie out the door and said "okay, see you later, I gotta go, bye!" and shut the door, stunned that my grand plan had worked.

Well, needless to say, Ruthie and Carol did meet and as I remember, we all got along great most days. I knew that if there were days when Ruthie and Carol were making plans without me, I would always have my trusted cousin, Kendel to be my buddy and partner in crime.

But if asked, it was CAROL who was my Best Friend and she was going to be, in a way only a child can believe, FOREVER. Carol , me and Pete, the donkey
at the Pennsylvania Cabin, 1973(why yes, I suppose I did dress myself....
I think I wore this hat about one year straight without taking it off).

I will leave all the stories for another day...(yes, she is one of the main characters in the "finger story")...but fast forward to Middle School and the realities that come from growing up. In our middle school each grade was divided into 2 parts...so kids you had known all your life, might not be in your "school" anymore. I can't remember if Carol and I were ever in the same "school" but this introduced new people to both of us and over time we spent less and less time together.
High School was the same and I am sad to say that once she left home, we didn't see each other for a very, very long time.

I saw her in the late 90's at Swanee's wake. She had just got off the plane and all there was time for was a quick hug and a few words. What I remember most is seeing those dimples and just looking at each other and smiling. It was strange to see a face from your past that pretty much only remembers you and your 6 or 7th grade self. They probably remember more about your childhood than you, because all of the rest of your life hasn't been mixed into their memory crowding out the younger years.

I got an address and a name, but over the years and many moves, I lost track of her again. I knew her married name was Freeman or was that the name of the town she lived in? I knew her sisters and Michael were in the area, but where? I knew she was in California, but had moved east. I thought of her often, especially the year Dad's new neighbor started building his house and tearing down what was left of the the old house, corn crib and shed. I would no longer be able to wander next door and take a walk down memory lane. I also thought of her a lot the year we cleaned out Mom and Dad's house. I found one walkie talkie and I knew the other one was at Carol's house. Carol's house was gone....but did she still have the walkie talkie? You know me, I turned it on and said "Hello? Carol, are you there...?" and waited. I know...I'm a dreamer.

I turned 45 and a girl who writes a blog I follow gave me the idea to do a 45 before 46 list. It is 45 things I want to do before I turn 46."Reconnect with Carol Swanson" was #11 on the list. I had no idea how, but she was on my mind....a lot.

Enter Facebook.
Every once in awhile I would search, but alas there are a lot of Carol Swansons, and I wasn't sure I had the right married name.
Then Monica, another Center School friend found me and she pointed me the way to Carol's Facebook page. Carol had just been in Lowell for a visit and Monica had seen her.

The good news is, she was planning another trip to come out for Michael's pig roast labor day weekend.
The Friday before Labor Day, Carol returned my call. I picked up the phone and a voice from my past said: "hello, who is this?" with a slight Chicago accent. I said "Oh, my God, Audrey Swanson just called me."The long and short of it is....on Labor Day I was reunited with my first BBF!It was a fantastic and it made me so happy!
Again, it was strange to sit across the table and say, "so tell me what you've been up to since you were 17 ?" And again, a little scary, cause I know I was sometimes a bossy Tom Boy who liked to scare the daylights out of that City Girl! Maybe she didn't remember me as fondly as I did her!
Carol is the same as I remember. She still has those adorable dimples, a great smile and is so easy to be around cause she is so real and genuine.

I guess when we grow up, we realize that, most likely, we won't be "Best Friends Forever," or there better yet, there may be many "Best Friends" in our life or Best Friends for a certain time frame.

What I do know for sure is that The Swanson Family was a very important part of my childhood and they all remain very close to my heart.Kimmy, Michael and Carol

And Carol, I love Carol.
She is and always will be my first BBF and one of my favorite people in the world.

Directions to here:
Swanson memories?
Send me a comment!

Flashback Friday...this smile

2010-08-14T12:22:00.002-04:00

I miss him.

Taking it all in.

2010-08-05T21:34:00.002-04:00

Been doing a lot of this lately.

Taking it all in...

Maybe when the "lazy days" of summer slow down, I'll have a chance to show you all what's on the memory card.

Until then,

Don't Blink!

Two of a kind.

2010-07-15T03:57:00.003-04:00

Happy Birthday to Dave and Sandy!

I would have loved to have seen the look of surprise on these two young lovers when they asked each other when their birthdays were!

I can just hear my brother:

Dave: "really...?"

Sandy: "yep!"

Dave: "no kidding...?"

Sandy: "nope."

Dave: "Well, I'll be darned."

Directions to here:
How did you find out? Tell us the story!

Lordy, Lordy...they've reached Forty!

2010-07-11T03:40:00.002-04:00

Happy Anniversary, Jerry & Susie!!!!

Flashback Friday...For Forty Years

2010-07-09T03:06:00.000-04:00

I still look up to her and am in Awe of my Sister Susie!

Flashback...Moore Grads

2010-07-01T02:11:00.005-04:00

Directions to here:

Nice bowtie, Durwood!
Still looking for Janet!

Flashback...grads

2010-06-28T04:15:00.000-04:00

Flashback Friday...The Graduate

2010-06-25T23:23:00.002-04:00

Someday I will share with you my review and thoughts on this famous movie,
but for now I thought I'd share with you how I've spent at least 32 hours of my life.
Of course, I'm talking about attending graduation ceremonies.

That is a lot of pomp and circumstance, bleacher sitting, name calling and mortar board watching!

And since I owe you a lot of Flashback Fridays...I'll be back with more Graduates.

Directions to here:
ARGH. Tried to load a video still clip of a picture of my graduation day...but stupid blogger is stupid. maybe later. no patience.

Happy and Congrats!

2010-06-01T22:05:00.003-04:00

Happy Birthday,

Cody!
...and while I'm at it, another
Congratulations
on graduating from
Ball State!

A day of remembering that.....

2010-05-31T22:28:00.007-04:00

This

is what it is all about.

Sacrifices
made by Patriots

so future generations enjoy
Freedom.

Directions to here:
Thanks Sister Susie for the pics and for passing the message onto those young Patroits!

Flashback Friday...last of the Grands

2010-05-28T02:52:00.004-04:00

I don't quite know how this is possible....

but Mom and Dad's last Grandchild is going to be marching to pomp and circumstance tonight.

There are more Great Grands to come and Taylor has already been the first of them to graduate, but Shelby is the last of the first tier of Grandkids to finish high school.

I'm sure all eyes above and I know those here below will be proud to see you get your diploma!

Congratulations Shelby!

I didn't make it up.

2010-05-24T23:52:00.001-04:00

Got the confirmation from Aunt Mary that I did not make the "Thobut" story up or dream it.
I asked Barb to show Aunt Mary the blog entry and sure enough, Aunt Mary had "the rest of the story."
Turns out it was Aunt Mary that gave Goulash it's alternate name and the Cobb's forever had Thobut instead of Goulash.

Here's what Barb wrote:

"Talked to mom and this the story about "though but." Winfred had scarlet fever and my mom and your mom were sent to stay with Aunt Jess. She made goulash for dinner. Mom had never had it before and really liked it. She said to Aunt Jess, "I really like this. I don't know what it is though but I want some more." Forever after it was called "though but. Didn't know you guys called it that too. I thought it was just a Cobb thing. Don't know how old they were. Winfred died when mom was 7 so had to be sometime before."

So there you have it.
Another story saved by Aunt Mary to pass onto your grandkids.
Now everybody go make some Thobut and tell the story to your kids!

Directions to here:
I'm sorry Sandy, I'm a memory hoarder.
It's my job and duty.

Flashback Friday....Thobut.

2010-05-21T14:43:00.000-04:00

One of the wonders of facebook is connecting on a daily basis with friends who were other wise lost due to time and distance away from each other.

I've reconnected with Beth (Scheidt) Carver and the other day she had a post about watching a show where they were serving goulash. She asked does anyone else remember their mom serving goulash and from her disgusted tone, I got the impression that the younger Beth didn't care for her mom's goulash.

It got me thinking to when my mom would make goulash. She always called it "Thobut."

I can't remember exactly how the name came about, but it seems she would tell the story of being young and eating at an Aunt's house. Either Aunt Jess or Aunt Helen Doyle's. I'm pretty sure it was Aunt Jess. They were having goulash. Mom told me that she wanted a second helping and could not remember what it was called. Somehow she said something like, "I don't know what it's called tho, but please pass..." and all Aunt Jess heard was "thobut" and ever on since then, goulash was called Thobut.

Directions to here:
Barb, does Aunt Mary have the scoop on what I may be missing from this story?

She is woman, hear her roar!

2010-05-20T23:51:00.000-04:00

In case you didn't see...Mike and Verna had a celebrity encounter in Lafayette:

check out who they ran into here.

I don't know what brought her to Indiana, but here she is at our store...
calling to get directions to the Triple XXX Drive-INN. I think she may be going to the Roller Derby Saturday night.
Or maybe that was her friend, Jim.

Do you remember?

2010-05-18T23:42:00.000-04:00

This is a question for my brothers and sisters:

Think back to the kitchen table at 105 W. 181st Ave.

Mom is serving goulash for dinner.

Does anyone remember her calling it "tho-but?"

I can sort of remember the story, but not all of it.

Help?

Directions to here:
F.Y.I.
T.V. Show Madmen?
Same kitchen cabinets : )

Introducing my New Obession

2010-05-16T23:06:00.000-04:00

O.M.G.

Look who stopped by on Vinyl night at Half Price Books!

I was spinning Sweet Caroline and in walked Mr. Diamond himself!

I saw a friend's video ('yo Nate !!) where they used album covers as talking heads and it was my brain come to life...I've thought about this idea so long but it never made it out of my head. Then I stumbled across a flickr set of "Sleeve faces" and well, now it's pretty much all I think about when a customer shows up with records to sell..."what great face is gonna be in this stack?"

Fortunantly for me, I have an endless supply of stock coming in daily and more than willing subjects at the store to pose and Vinyl Night on Tuesdays where we can have our photo sessions.

Who knows who might show up this week?!!?

Directions to here:

I hope you like it, cause you are gonna see more!

Flashback Friday....laughing out loud

2010-05-14T15:00:00.001-04:00

It is hard work getting beautified, so after we finished up, we all agreed to meet at George's for lunch. Sandy went to her car and Susie and I got in her Tahoe. I pulled the visor down to see what the wind had done to my new doo. I looked to the left and Susie had the look she is giving in the above pic. I looked at her with the same amusement and said: "we both look like our digital haircuts that we laughed so much about last summer!"
We both cracked up at the same time and laughed so hard that we had to wait a minute before driving away. I'm glad that the internet, real life and my family can all make us laugh so much we might just wet our pants!